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  1. Derick, Saint City , Las Vegas says:

    As a Deep Process HSP currently struggling with my new blended family marriage raising traumatized children, God saw fit to lead me to hear to your blog post to gain the insight and process I can use to overcome attachment distress reactions. Thanks for modeling how to pray-cess (I appreciate the word-play here!) these overwhelming, painful, and intense emotional cycles are for God’s glory, other benefits, and our good.

  2. Tina Watkins says:

    Wow! I only recently identified myself as highly sensitive, but I’ve been highly sensitive all my life. Most people have no idea. I never wanted people to have to step on eggs around me, so I’d internalize it all and pretend I’m “normal”.

    Back in elementary school, I learned that if you show you’re startled when people sneak up on you, they’ll do it all the time. So I learned to hide it. Oh sure, I still startled easily, and internally had all the startle symptoms, but I’d learned to control it and no one knew. It actually became a badge of honor because several people told me that no one could ever surprise me. Little did they know I was crying on the inside whenever people tried.

    I’ve printed out this page and intend to go over it in depth. I just want to thank you for helping me see that my normal is normal, not stupid, not embarrassing. I’m afraid I probably will still “fawn” and try to keep people from having to worry about bothering me, but maybe I can learn to catch myself and stop trying to protect them and allow myself to protect me… (wow, that feel so selfish to me!!!)

  3. Frank Rice says:

    Thank you for this. I lead a group where people with what we call hurts,habits and hang ups come to get better.
    Last Thursday I gave a talk on fear. I came upon your article and saw you information on “fawn.” I had never heard the word fawn as a fear response.
    I planned with a woman to give a demonstration of fawning. I yelled like a jack ass at her calling her stupid, called her out for what I conceived as her putting her family before me and so on. She responded as if in fawn response mode with apologies and promises to change and do better. After that I shared several of your self defense statements.
    After my talk was done we opened up for discussion. The focus or the discussion immediately became fawning and experiences people had with using it as what they now understood was a fear reaction.
    I thank you greatly for your article and giving me the opportunity to give the fear response of fawning a name.

  4. After reading the information above, I feel on overload, like it will take me a long time to assimilate and use it. I agree with it but not sure I can recognize it when it happens. I’ll have to come back and read it again, and again, and again….

  5. Cheri,

    I love this. Good for you! And, boo for him. Love the way you processed that for us.

  6. This resonated so deeply with me. Thank you for pointing out the options I have when in these situations. I love the pray-cessing. There are all great suggestions.

  7. Know your limits, and set your boundaries! I love this.

  8. Beautiful post, Cheri! I see myself in so many of these scenarios. I appreciate the way you’ve clarified a pattern that has muddied my heart and mind for years. You’ve given me permission to receive God’s grace in those uncomfortable moments, and you have provided me with practical steps to recognize and use my voice. This is so powerful!

  9. I love this so much! I will be saving and using this!
    You could seriously be a counselor ❤❤❤

  10. Congratulations on your victory, Cheri! You were able to overcome the pattern you were used to following. That takes a lot of courage. This reminds me of a verse I have in my car, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13)

    Thanks for these blog posts. I’m sure I’ve had all 4 of these responses at varying times, always ashamed of myself, but never knowing any options. I don’t have a problem, usually, if I’m in what I perceive to be a “safe” place, among “safe” people (like church). My problem happens when I’m in other situations that aren’t “safe”. Then I am on “high-alert”. Thanks for these tools to tone down reactions, and thanks for being willing to talk about these topics.