HSP Part 2: When You’ve Heard “Just Get Over It”
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One reader commented, “My definition of sensitive has always been someone who has empathy for the situation or people. Some people consider me a sensitive person, but I never felt it an insult, maybe I should reconsider?”
My thought: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
The Sensitivity Continuum
One way to look at sensitivity is as a continuum, with whole, healthy, Spirit-led empathy on one end. If this is where you find yourself, praise God and stay there!
On the other end of the sensitivity continuum is broken, dis-eased, self-centered fragility. For much of my life, I found myself sliding further and further into this end. The harder I tried to “get better,” the worse I seemed to become.
For those of us who have attempted valiantly – and failed miserably – to “Just Get Over It” (whatever our particular “it” may be!), ignorance compounds the problem.
It’s bad enough that we don’t understand our own unique sensitivities; condemnation from our friends and family makes everything we’re already struggling with exponentially worse.
An Asthma Metaphor
Let’s imagine a person who is unaware that they have asthma. Let’s put them in an energetic athletic family that has never even heard of asthma. And let’s send that family on a week-long vacation in the mountains. At high elevation. In the spring. With just enough wind to kick up dust and pollen.
We can write the script for the first family hike, can’t we? Our asthma suffering friend starts wheezing while everyone else is breathing just fine. She gets called a “drama queen.”
Either way, the message, “Just try harder” comes through loud and clear. If the family has to turn around and head back to camp without reaching the summit, you can be sure that it’s made loud and clear whose fault it is.
Problems That Arise When “High Sensitivity” is Ignored or Misunderstood
- We incorrectly assume that we are faulty, defective, and/or wrong.
- Our family and friends may place blame and shame on us.
- We will not engage in self-care.
- Our family and friends won’t offer appropriate external support.
- Our lives get worse when they could be getting better.
Your Turn
How has ignoring or misunderstanding your sensitivity resulted in one (or more) of the problems listed?
HSP Part 1: What Does It Mean to be an HSP?
HSP Part 2: When You’ve Heard “Just Get Over It”
HSP Part 3: It’s “Just So Hard Being Me”
HSP Part 4: Why Self-Care is Anything But Self-ish
HSP Part 5: Why HSPs Need Community
I am the queen f informing things. So I neglected my health and emotional wellbeing. Slowly coming to learn to communicate better but God still has more spiritual gifts to bless me with. I am Sooo excited about this community.
I cried during Mrs Doubtfire in grade 3, everyone in class laughed at me. I didn’t like that feeling so I grew a thick protective veneer.
So grateful to God for the redemptive work He does in all of our lives.
I have always stuffed my sensitivity down and put a lid on it. Never deal with it was my motto. Unfortunately, that lid kept popping off at the most INCONVENIENT times…and each time it was harder to put it back in place. Now, it is near impossible. Red lights flashing and alarms blaring. Contamination has reached a critical level! Thank you for giving me permission to deal with this. Praise God for getting me the help I need through you!!
Reading your posts is a key for me. It is all starting to make sense. Thanks for helping me to accept the perfect way God has made me. A key for me is turning to God when I feel overwhelmed and when those negative thoughts start. Before, I would turn to lots of other things to help me feel better and be calm, but nothing ever worked. Only God.
This a great post, Cheri! To answer your question I did find key information that will help me on self care as long as I don’t over think it and worry about there being something wrong with me.
You are right. The more I worry that I have a problem that needs fixing the worse that “problem” gets. Once my husband gave me some sound advice telling me that he loves me just how I am and that I needed to quit worrying about being like everyone else. He didn’t marry everyone else. He married me. Now I’m trying to be the best me I can for my family.