Why Being an HSP Matters in Your Everyday Life

Many thanks to Lori Margo for this practical and thought-provoking conversation about HSPs!

Lori Margo

Hey everyone, happy Tuesday. … we’re continuing our series, Peace in the Pieces, and talking to people who have found that sweet spot with Jesus when life is hard. And I am so thrilled today to have you meet my friend, Cheri Gregory. And you know, usually my first question is, what’s the weather like where you are? But we live pretty close to one another. So I’m imagining you’re enjoying a foggy morning?

Cheri Gregory

Absolutely! Yep, yep. Nice and cool and overcast.

Lori Margo

Central California coast at its finest. But as you’re coming on, tell us where you’re watching from and how’s your weather. I know we’ll have some people joining us from back East and man, there’s flooding, there’s hurricanes, there’s all kinds of stuff. So let us know how you’re doing while I introduce Cheri. Cheri Gregory is an author, she’s a speaker, she’s a podcaster, she’s a coach, she’s done a lot of things. And she’s been such a mentor and a friend to me.

We first met at Leverage, that’s a speaker conference that Kathi Lipp puts on, and you were my mentor. Last time I went and got to know you a little bit more. And then I’ve slowly just, I think what I want to say is, every time Cheri speaks, I just tend to lean in a bit closer. You’re going to get such nuggets when she’s sharing. And I just want to say that to you today, you may want to have a pen and paper nearby. And this is just going to be some amazing things.

And the reason I’m having you on – other than it’s amazing content – the last three interviews I’ve done were Cheri Fletcher and Rhonda Abellera and Leslie Newman; we’ve all brought up Highly Sensitive People, because we’re in a mastermind that Cheri and Mary Lou Caskey (Mary Lou’s on here with us) they lead that and it’s for writers and speakers, creatives who have that HSP bent. And so I thought “I keep bringing up this topic – I need to pause and just, let’s just dive into what it is because it has been so life-changing for me.”

So all that to say welcome, Cheri. Thank you for taking the time to be here.

Cheri Gregory

Well, thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited and honored to be one of your guests. I’ve enjoyed your other interviews so much.

Lori Margo

Oh thank you. And we’ve been talking about – we both have cats. Cheri’s cat may appear on camera at any moment. And then I have a cat who about 20 minutes before we started this, there was a lizard in our house. She is down there hunting it. So anything can happen in the next 30 minutes.

What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person?

Lori Margo

Cheri, just set the stage for us. What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person?

Cheri Gregory

Oh, you’ve asked me my favorite questions.

Lori Margo

Answer it through the lens of this is completely new information to somebody. Where would you start just elaborating on that?

Cheri Gregory

Well, honestly, I’d start by sharing a little bit about what it’s not. It’s one of those phrases that can get easily misunderstood. So first of all, being an HSP, or highly sensitive person, does not mean that you are easily offended, or attention-seeking, or high maintenance. Those are some labels that those of us who HSPs have wrestled with over the years. I think the most important thing to know about this whole idea of being a highly sensitive person is that it is a genetic trait. In fact, the word ‘sensitive’ in highly sensitive person comes from the phrase ‘sensory processing sensitivity.’ And so the word sensitive means something just a little bit different than the way we might use it in every day. And the whole concept was even made known about 20-25 years ago by Dr. Elaine Aron. She’s the foundational researcher who wrote the book, The Highly Sensitive Person.

So this is real, it’s a thing. It’s not just, you know, some people are like, ‘Oh, you’ve just made up another victim mentality.’ And I’m like, well, actually in my life, it actually took me out of a victim mentality and helped me understand some important things about myself that enabled me to take more responsibility for the brain and the body that God chose to give me, which is different. I mean, there’s about 20% of men and women. So, you know, again, we might typically think of the term sensitive of supplying more to women, but across cultures and across genders, 20% of the population have this genetic trait of high sensitivity. So, yeah, that’s just a quick definition.

Lori Margo

No, I love that. You and I were talking about some of the key qualities of a highly sensitive person, what would those be?

5 Key Qualities of a Highly Sensitive Person

Cheri Gregory

Okay, so there’s five of them. Let me see if I get my hand in here. And I’ll go through them real quickly. I can elaborate more. But a lot of these, I think, are somewhat self-explanatory. And here’s the thing, if somebody is listening – I’ll talk directly to the camera. Okay. So if you are listening, and you resonate with one or more of these, it might be that you are a highly sensitive person. And if you’re listening, and you’re like, that’s not me, but boy, this describes my child or my spouse, or someone I work with, or somebody I love, then they might be a highly sensitive person.

Quality #1: HSPs need time to process

So the first quality is that HSPs need time to process. We are reflective thinkers. And so you know, when somebody asks me what I think about something, I can look like a deer in the headlights immediately, but you give me 24 or 48 hours, and you’re going to get some really well processed feedback. But I do not think on my feet, I am not somebody who just can, you know, spit out answers or vote in the moment. I need time to process. So that’s the first thing.

Quality #2: HSPs are easily overstimulated

The second one is that HSPs are easily overstimulated. And for this one, we are talking about the five senses, we’re talking about external stimuli. And also, this is a newer realization for me. Internal stimuli, like – I was teaching my growing sensitive and strong group coaching course. And somebody brought up menopause. And I’ve already been through menopause. And it never occurred to me during those two years, that my own body became a source of increased sensory stimuli, all the extra heat, the sweating, all that sort of thing. So you know, it might be the bright sunlight – I often can tell a fellow HSP when I’m leaving church, and everybody’s just walking straight out to the parking lot, and some of us are digging for our sunglasses, because we know we can’t go outside without them. Or those of us who have a tube of lip balm everywhere around the house, you know, for because we can’t stand it when our lips are chapped. So there’s a variety for me, I’m very scent-sitive, like so artificial smells, I will become nauseous and get a headache. Whereas for others that might be sounds. It might be the how loud the sound is. Or it could be the suddenness – you know, many HSPs have a really strong startle reflex that other people might find funny. We don’t find it funny at all. It’s actually very disconcerting. Okay, so that’s the second one.

Quality #3: HSPs feel things intensely

The third one is that HSPs feel things intensely. So we feel our own emotions intensely. Some HSPs are internalizes, some are externalizers; I’m definitely an externalizer, I cry at the drop of a hat. And that’s one of the stereotypes about HSPs – ‘oh, they’re always crying for attention.’ And it’s like, actually, we’re experiencing emotion so strongly that either we bottle it up, which has its own downside, or it just spills out. It’s not something that we’re doing just because we want other people to feel sorry for us. And also, there’s nothing wrong with crying. That’s its own thing.

Quality #4: HSPs are highly empathic

Okay, so then the fourth thing is that HSPs are highly empathetic. We can walk into the room and read the room, we experience other people’s emotions, almost as if they are our own emotions. And so that means we can be incredibly compassionate and caring, and we can we can give a lot of great care to others. It also means there’s a danger of us being like a sponge, where we absorb others’ emotions a great deal. And you can see Rafiki, my highly empathetic cat, is right here thinking that there must be something wrong with me.

Quality #5: HSPs notice nuances

And then the last one is that HSPs notice nuances. And so this is one that a lot of us have heard ever since we were younger, which is we you know, we’ll bring something up, maybe in Scripture – I know you do this a lot when you’re teaching on tracking God, you’ll come up with an insight and others will be like, ‘I never saw that. I would never have seen it that way.’ And so that unique perspective – and it’s often something really small and intriguing. We’ll also notice nuances about other people, like we might visit their home and just instantly notice the color scheme, or we might notice that a picture is off kilter, and we won’t go down that road.

So you put these things, you put these things together now, not every HSP is equally intense and all of these, we each have our own constellation of sensitivities. But these are the five qualities that are generally considered the ones that you look for. The depth of processing is probably the major one, closely followed by that sensory overstimulation.

Lori Margo

Yeah. And you were asking me, which one resonated with me when we were talking. And it was just like, check, check, check, check, and check. But really, and I think this is what led me to you and being in your mastermind, was that needing time to process.

Cheri Gregory

Yeah.

Lori Margo

Somebody just to say, ‘Yeah, well, now maybe think about it this way,’ or, ‘yeah, take some time.’ I felt affirmed in my need for deep processing. And you know I struggle with that. I feel like I’m slower than everybody else. But you keep saying, ‘But Lori, you’re producing,’ you know, yeah, I get there. But I know the thinking it’s going to cost me.

Cheri Gregory

Yeah.

Lori Margo

And then of course, that overstimulated – it’s so funny. I think one of my daughters is probably an HSP also. And I have to have bright lights, or it drives me crazy. And she has to have low lights.

Cheri Gregory

Yes.

Lori Margo

So we’re forever going up and down on the dimmer switches.

Cheri Gregory

Yep.

Lori Margo

But it’s kind of – it’s so freeing. And these are those five things are the first things as I, you know, started getting to know you more, that come to light. And it just helps you know you’re not crazy. And there are reasons for that. And let me show you Mary Lou’s comment: “Until I started to learn these things, I didn’t realize that everyone did have these genetic traits. It helped me to understand others better, and myself, when I learned that these ways of being wired are only 20% of people.” Very freeing.

Cheri Gregory

Absolutely.

Lori Margo

So like, I can look back on my childhood, and I can reflect back and say, ‘Oh, that’s why I had to always pull my socks up. And they had to hit a certain point on my leg.’ Or it drove me nuts. Or that’s why I had to be in charge of the TV remote for volume.

Cheri Gregory

Yep.

Lori Margo

Cheri, what is your backstory? Did you know these things when you were a teenager, and you just have lived this life full of freedom and affirmation? What’s your backstory with being an HSP?

What’s your backstory with being an HSP?

Cheri Gregory

You know, my backstory is like so many other women that I meet. And that is I spent most of my life thinking there was something wrong with me. And the word I would use is defective. I thought – I tried my hardest to be much more like everybody else. You know, I played the comparison game from way before it was even a conscious choice to compare myself with others, because I was just trying to get the same sense of love and belonging that they all had. And so I couldn’t do it by being me. Because that’s when I got being told I was being too sensitive. I took things too personally, I was being a drama queen, attention-seeker, crybaby. I mean, there’s a whole long list. So I tried really hard to be normal, like everybody else.

And so the change happened for me – we’re going on almost 10 years ago now, when I read the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. And she has a whole chapter on being a highly sensitive person. And I read that chapter and I highlighted almost every single word and I cried because I was like – well, of course I cried; but I was like, how does she know? How is she describing me so perfectly? Like, I was 45 when I read it, and up until that point, I – you know, me, I’m a personality trainer. Under the old system, I tested out a sanguine choleric, but I get tired when I’m around people. So I’m like, great. I’m even a failure as an extrovert. I can’t get any of this right.

But it turns out, I really am those personalities with an HSP, with a highly sensitive person overlay. And so then I read Dr. Elaine Aaron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person. And then I went looking for books about being a highly sensitive person from a Christian worldview. And I couldn’t find any. And so that’s how I became this HSP evangelist. And I use the term ‘evangelist’ very loosely and I do want to be super clear that, you know, I talked about being sensitive and strong, but the strong part of that is never our own strength. It always refers to Jesus, who is the only true strength of any tender heart. Because on our own, whether we’re HSP or not, our strength is no good.

Lori Margo

I love that. I love that. Wow, don’t you just say, man, if I had only known this in my 20s –

Cheri Gregory

Oh, don’t – don’t get me started.

Lori Margo

And I had read the book that you just mentioned, Elaine Aaron, is that her name? I had read that probably three years ago, I had a friend kind of just slide it across the table to me and say, ‘look at this.’ And it started this journey, but I never felt comfortable with it until I started working with you. And just like, it’s okay to understand ourselves like this, and just to know, how we how we do this life. So with that, how has knowing this changed the way you do this life? How you go through life? How is it helping you currently?

How has knowing this changed the way you do this life?

Cheri Gregory

Well, you know, I would say that the biggest initial change for me is, you know, like I said, I spent so much of my life thinking I was defective. And so you know, I’m a hard worker, you know, I’m a recovering perfectionist. And so I had no trouble hunkering down, I probably owned every book on the self help aisle at Barnes and Noble, and then the self help category of Amazon. And I kept trying to fix myself. But at some point, I was starting to feel like, okay, I must be irreparably broken. And the biggest area was this area of my intensity of emotions.

I mean, I was the kind of woman who would melt down with her kids with her husband, and what kind of Christian woman experiences that level of intensity of her emotions? And so the biggest initial change for me was realizing that my issue wasn’t emotionality, it was reactivity. And so much of my reactivity was because of the sensory stimuli. And so the repetitive noises, the overwhelming smells, the bright lights, and the fact that I wasn’t taking care of myself at all, because why would you take care of something that’s defective? If I was that broken and irreparable, you know, there’s no point even trying. And so I finally I started to learn that when I had this huge wave of emotion, I like to call it a tidal wave from the emotion ocean, when I know it’s starting to overwhelm me, I can do a systems check. And I can be like, okay, what am I hearing? What am I seeing? You know, are there any textures? Like you said, where are my socks? Is there a cat hair inside my bra? I mean, that’s the thing that makes me lose my mind. I gave birth to my son with no anesthesia whatsoever, and a cat hair in my bra drives me through the roof. I know, it’s ridiculous. You know, are there any smells? Are there any tastes? And so when I do a systems check, I can then realize that what I need to be doing is practicing self care.

And I used to think of self care as being selfish. That was something I did just for myself. And I now understand that, well, God created me as a highly sensitive person on purpose for His purpose. So self care is actually an act of stewardship. And again, He’s the one who chose to give me this HSP brain and body. And so now I’m the one who gets to take care of it in the way it needs. So that was the biggest short term change.

I would say the biggest long term change is what you mentioned earlier, I used to be ashamed of how slow I am. And like it was ‘How can I be technically smart?’ I mean, that’s what the tests in school showed. And now everything takes me so long, like anybody else, like what on earth is wrong with me. And so it’s really helped me to realize nothing’s wrong. I’m a reflective thinker. And so as I’ve come to really accept that, and I’m kind of in a new stage of accepting that right now. And I’m looking at my calendar and realizing that having margin to – I call pray-cessing to process something through prayer – having built in scheduled margin is absolutely vital to my health as a highly sensitive person. And it’s in that quiet time where I gain an awareness of where God is at work.

And what I’ve discovered is when I don’t have that reflection time, what ends up happening is all of the things I need to reflect on and process, they all back up like a like a traffic jam, and then I end up going into rumination. And it’s just like my you know, you know what that’s like all of those negative thoughts, just kind of on that hamster wheel. And this is why I love your Tracking God process.

Lori Margo

Yay!

Cheri Gregory

The Tracking God process just totally taps into the HSP strength of reflection. And it’s just such a natural thing to do. And so when I find myself starting to go into rumination, which I did yesterday, I found out I wasn’t going to get reimbursed for some travel expenses because of a mistake I had made. And I could just I could feel it in my stomach. See, this is the beauty of knowing you’re an HSP. I could feel it in my stomach. I could hear the thoughts starting to spin, and I was then able to consciously pause and stop myself and pull out my tools, my Tracking God stuff. And I was able to track God in the midst of that whole situation and really come down to what was true about it, and what I did or didn’t need to do about it. And so having a tool that moves me out of rumination and into reflection, is invaluable. For everything else there’s MasterCard.

Lori Margo

I love that you’re so invested in Tracking God. It’s been so fun to work with you on all these different levels. And it’s just wonderful that you’re in the group. And I want to say, you know, we had – my daughter got married about a month ago, and one of my most valuable… they’re all valuable. But one of my, just most impactful coaching calls with you was the week after that wedding. And I got on here and I couldn’t even talk, I just started crying. So embarrassing. But I just kept saying ‘I should be so much farther ahead. I’m so behind.’ I almost – like, I was punishing myself for taking time off to celebrate my daughter getting married. And just anticipating how much work it was going to be to get caught up and you just stopped me in my tracks and you said ‘We are going to pause and celebrate. And that’s your assignment for this.’ And that was exactly what I needed instead of just being so overstimulated with the thoughts and the energy and all of that just, ‘Hey, your daughter got married, look where you are in business, let’s celebrate, and I’ll see you next week, and we’ll make a plan for the following week.’ That was so that was perfect. So I just wanted to say that just talking about that margin in life and then feeling guilty for not being able to do everything. There’s a reason! There’s an HSP reason.

Cheri Gregory

Yeah, well, and those tears were messengers, like they were there to tell you something about where you were at. And I won’t tell you don’t be embarrassed. But, you know, this is one of the reasons why having a few HSP friends can be really valuable is they’ll understand. And they’re not going to diagnose you as being hysterical or a crybaby, or anything like else like that. To me, it was the most natural thing in the world that you would be tearful in that moment. And it was an honor that you would do that, we together as friends, and you know, as fellow HSPs. We can understand each other.

Lori Margo

That’s right. That’s right. Well, speaking of understanding each other. So – in fact, if you’re watching and anything has resonated with you, just hit that heart button. That just encourages us that you’re hearing this and something’s landing.

So Cheri, what would you say to the woman – and maybe she’s a highly sensitive woman, maybe she has someone in her family that is – but but to the woman who feels like she’s too much?

What would you say to the woman who feels like she’s too much?

Cheri Gregory

I am going to actually, I actually have four little points. And these come out of the book of my heart, Sensitive & Strong. And so I have four things I would say. Number one, well, first of all, the first thing I would say is I get it. Like, those of us who are highly sensitive persons, we get it. We understand what it’s like to feel like we are too much – not enough in certain areas and too much in others. So first of all, I understand.

But the four things that I love to say when I’m working with HSPs and in the mirror:

Number 1: You’re not to blame. Okay? You didn’t ask to be a highly sensitive person, you didn’t bring it upon yourself, nor are you making it up. This is not all in anybody’s head. It’s not your fault. Now, it is your responsibility, but it’s not your fault. So that’s number one.

Number 2: You’re not alone. You’re in really good company. Like I said earlier, about 20% of the entire world population are wired with this genetic trait at the DNA level. And I find that in Christian circles it is it is higher, okay. HSPs often are drawn to spiritual matters. That’s just what I’ve seen. So number, so number one, it’s not your fault. Number two, you’re not alone.

Number 3: It’s not too late. Many of us find out that we are HSP, how shall I say, later in life. And I’ve gotten emails from women in their 70s and 80s, saying ‘I feel understood for the first time in my entire life.’ And you know, I just weep for all those decades of being misunderstood because I know what that feels like. And I remember one woman coming up to me, and she definitely was the grandmotherly age, but she came up to me an event and she gave me this big bear hug and she said, I finally feel free to be me. And it’s never too late. It is never too late to be who God created you to be.

Number 4: It’s not your fault. You’re not alone. It’s not too late and the last one is yes, you can learn what it means to be an HSP, you can maximize the upsides and learn to mitigate the downsides. And of course, I would say you can be both sensitive and strong because so many people feel like that word sensitive, it automatically means weakness. And it doesn’t have to, there are so many gifts that God has built into our sensitivity.

Lori Margo

You know what, Cheri, can you hold your book up again?

Cheri Gregory

Sure! I’d be happy to!

Lori Margo

So Sensitive & Strong. You know what’s so funny, I just ordered your book yesterday. I realized I had never actually read this book. I have recommended it to everyone. And I feel like I know it, because I read all your blogs and your emails and all of that, but it hit me I don’t own this book. But I do, I give the name out to everyone, I really do. So I would just encourage all of you guys watching, it’s a great place to launch from, Sensitive & Strong. And you know, speaking of that, you have so many resources, and a lot of them are free. You have a couple websites, you have a Sensitive & Strong website. Your emails are jam-packed. People should be on your email list. Lots of video messages. They’re great. But you the thing I love that just did it for me is your free quiz. Can you talk a little bit about that?

The “Am I a Highly Sensitive Person?” self-quiz

Cheri Gregory

Yeah, it’s it’s called ‘Am I a highly sensitive person?’ And it’s got – I don’t remember, I think it’s a 25 question, it’s a PDF that you can download and print and just go through and self score. And the thing I did not expect when I first created this was the number of women who would email me – first of all people email me their scores. And I’m like, this is fun. So fun. Because of course, I get like a 96 out of 100 most days. There’s no better or worse number on it.

But the number of women who email me and tell me that taking the quiz is transformational, that taking the quiz is healing, but even just the questions on it, that those are legitimate questions. And that, you know, because every question has a continuum as to whether something would not bother you at all, or you might have this reaction to it, and just realizing that it might be okay to to circle the higher number, and that they wouldn’t be judged for that. And that I might actually be on the other side of the computer understanding that. And so I had no idea the power. Plus, it’s fun. It’s fun to take quizzes, and learn more about yourself.

Lori Margo

Yeah.

Cheri Gregory

So tell me what was it like for you, Lori. You took the quiz.

Lori Margo

Well, I love quizzes for sure. I mean, I love anything that helps me understand myself, because I’ve been so frustrated for so many years. But I immediately – because you, when you get your score, it says on there, ‘Let me know if I can answer questions’ or something like that. So I immediately, I was one who said, ‘This was my score, it seems a little bit high.’ And you just started this conversation with me. And it just helped me know that there are some resources, and there’s a lot of understanding out there. And then it’s so cute. I have all my friends take your quiz. And then they’ll say to me, this score seems a little high. Yeah, it means you’re you’ve landed in the right place, for sure. So – and this link that I put up that will take them to the quiz, correct?

Cheri Gregory

Yes.

Lori Margo

Or does that take them to the cafe? Because I want to talk about the cafe also.

Cheri Gregory
That link will take them to the quiz. Yeah. The quiz comes in the welcome email once they join the email list.

Lori Margo

Okay, perfect. So you have all these free resources, all of you watching need to take the quiz if you haven’t. But Cheri you’ve also started – you charge for this, it’s a very low cost, but it’s the Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe. So what is that? And what would an HSP woman find there?

The Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe

Cheri Gregory

Well, [the Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe] is my favorite thing. It’s my dream come true. I pinch myself every day. Because, you know, one of the things about being a highly sensitive person is a sense of isolation, like most of us are the only HSP in our families or in our friend groups. Or at least for the longest time – until I started having conversations with people like you and Cheri Fletcher and others, I was the only HSP I knew. And so I was like, it would be so nice to have a place where we could congregate. Not to be exclusive or hide, but just to rub shoulders and hang out with others like ourselves and to be able to ask questions and you know, share best practices.

Just yesterday, we had a great conversation about you know, some planning our Christmas gift-giving, some ways of doing decluttering that work a little better for us, you know, stuff like that. And and the thing I did not expect but that has been so valuable is how freeing it is to not have to explain myself, or having to explain ourselves. Like everybody just gets it. Even though all of us have slightly different sensitivities, or different constellations of sensitivities. Whenever we start saying ‘And then I was so exhausted,’ and everybody gets it, you know, you don’t have to justify the exhaustion. Everybody just plain gets it. And so it is so nice to not have to explain ourselves, to feel immediately understood.

And then, oh, my goodness, I mean, you’ve been one of the speakers in the cafe. And so has Leslie, I mean, we just have wonderful sister HSPs, who are sharing messages that God’s given them and providing leadership. And it’s just like I said, it’s my favorite thing ever to be able to facilitate friendships between HSPs and just a safe place to hang out for a little while and receive affirmation. So I like to say is we gather to encourage one another, to learn together and safe community, and then serve others with confidence. My goal is not that we hide out there, but that we become refueled so that we can go out and serve. Because, you know, my belief is that God wired us as HSPs to be servant leaders. And so it’s not just about us, it’s about what he wants to do with us and through us.

Lori Margo

You know, what I love about the Cafe, it really is like a coffee shop where you can drop in and stay for a little bit. You can do a little work, you can Google – you have a search bar, so you could search for a topic and you can go, or you can come every day. Sometimes I go in there and there’s a couple people who are always in there, just like at a coffee shop, you have the people who go every single day. And then there’s me that can drop in a couple times a week, and it’s just a really neat no pressure situation. Resources like crazy. I was part of the boundaries book club, even though I didn’t make I think I made one Zoom call. But I would still go in and read what everybody was posting about it. It’s just like a really great alternative to Facebook for the HSPs. I mean, you can just hang out and network. But you don’t have to either.

And the other thing, Cheri, I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but I really, really do love your emails, specifically coming from the Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe, because you put the quick links from the past week. And I can instantly see ‘Do I want to drop in and check that?’ And it’s wonderful. It’s just so non-pressure. Just come as you are. We’re here. And there’s some just amazing people in there. It’s wonderful. So we’re why we’re winding this up here. But Cheri, is there anything else before we get to our closing that you just want to make sure you say or anything that’s bubbling up for you as we’re closing this?

HSPs and Servant Leadership

Cheri Gregory

Yeah, I jumped the gun a little bit on it, but there – I don’t think I can say this too much. You know, a number of years ago when I was in grad school, and I had just learned about being a highly sensitive person I was sharing with my advisor a little bit about it. And she turned to me and she said, Well, maybe, maybe highly sensitive people just aren’t cut out for leadership. And of course, I was devastated, I held back tears. And then I got mad. Because I can do that. And I was like, ‘I will show her.’

And so what I would love to wrap up with is that, yes, initially, as a Highly Sensitive Person, when we’re first discovering that this is who we are, there’s going to be a bit of turning inward, and maybe even looking back at our past and understanding that better. And then there’s going to be learning the rhythms we need for taking care of ourselves, and making sure that we’re in constant communion with God and having that reflective time. And then all of the purpose of that is so that we can fulfill God’s purpose in our lives, because He has wired us for servant leadership. And there we have natural giftings of empathy, and of noticing the nuances, and that servant leadership may be of one other person, it might be the parenting or teaching or homeschooling of a child, or piano lessons or something like that. It might be leading a small group mastermind, like Lori, the six week program you do for tracking God, it might be that. And it might be. It might involve a stage. Although I will say that having spoken on a very large stage, and realizing how isolated and lonely that made me feel, I’m realizing I love speaking at women’s retreats that are small and intimate. 50, maybe 100 women in a campground kind of thing.

And so I want to, I really just want to throw the door wide open here and say that if you think you might be a Highly Sensitive Person – for so many of us, we have we have crossed things off our bucket list. ‘I could never do that. I could never do that. I’m not like other people. I’m not – I don’t have have the ability to do that.’ But then the number of things that are available to you that God has wired you to be able to do are not, it’s not only a huge list, but it probably includes things that would just be such a perfect fit, that you would just love to do. So, I would like to invite every HSP to continue dreaming and realizing that being wired as an HSP is not a curse, it is an incredible blessing. And that yes, you can be both sensitive and strong.

Lori Margo

So good, Cheri, so good. And I just, you know, as we’re closing, I just want to thank you for your personal investment in my life. I’ve – you know, over the last two years, I’ve had a lot of coaching. It’s all been wonderful. And then I found you and Mary Lou, and it’s wonderful and it’s just meeting me right where I am because of that HSP overlay. It is really is amazing. And then I have these new just really good friends who in our mastermind – it’s been the whole package and I just, you know, thank you so much for that and, and I’m gonna put up what you just said here.

This is kind of your, I guess you could say tagline. ‘God created you sensitive and in Christ you are always strong. That is just what I want people to leave today with. And as I was preparing for this interview – one of my very favorite verses, and I just thought ‘This is why I love all this work that Cheri does,’ but Psalm 73:26. “God is the strength of my heart. And He’s my portion forever.” And then I thought that’s just such a great HSP verse.

Cheri Gregory

It is, that’s perfect.

Lori Margo

But thank you for being here. Thank you for all your comments. We’ll go back and look at some of those and comments. And, you know, blessings to all of you on your faith journey. And I just pray that you continue finding peace and all those pieces of your life. And one of if one of those pieces happens to be highly sensitive, may God just grant you such favor and peace on that journey. And be sure to connect with Cheri. And just dabble in it and see where it takes you and what God begins to show you.

So have a great day guys! Again, thank you, thank you, thank you, Cheri!

And everyone remember “God created you sensitive, and in Christ, you are always strong.”

Think of that throughout your day.

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Lori Margo teaches women to notice God in the details of their lives, so their faith is strengthened. Lori is a speaker and writer who shares her own story of seeing the surprising presence of God during uncertain times. She now equips women to track the threads of His faithfulness and trust Him in their journey.

Lori is from the central coast of California and married to Eddie, the “cutest guy in the church youth group!” They have three amazing kids—two are young adults and the youngest is a sophomore in high school. Lori loves beach walks, going to the movies, and peanut butter! (Not necessarily in that order!)

You can learn more about Lori’s speaking and Tracking God groups at lorimargo.com.