Sensitive and Strong

The place for the HSP Christian woman to find connection.

  • About
  • Start Here
  • Caring for Yourself
  • Connecting with Others
  • Cherished by God
  • Resources
  • Community
  • Contact Cheri

What to Do When People Interrupt You — Part 1

by Cheri Gregory

Longing for a place where you don't have to explain or defend yourself ... because you're already understood and accepted? The Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe is open to new members. We'd love you to join us!

Longing for a place where you don't have to explain or defend yourself ... because you're already understood and accepted? The Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe is open to new members. We'd love you to join us!

 

I don’t remember his name. But I’ll never forget what he did.

It happened at a conference many years ago. I was talking with two colleagues, telling a hilarious story. Right before the funniest part, I paused to take a breath — so I could deliver the punch line well.

But before I could finish my story, Colleague A jumped in and started talking, yanking the conversation in a completely different direction.

For a moment, I was confused.

What just happened?

But then I realized my mistake: by pausing to breathe, I’d accidentally signaled that I was done talking.

 

Let me interrupt my own story for a moment to ask:

Does the scene above feel familiar to you?

If so, you’re not alone. It turns out that Highly Sensitive Persons get interrupted more often than non-HSPs.

When we pause to gather our thoughts, some less sensitive listeners may incorrectly assume that we’re struggling to express ourselves. So they jump in to “rescue” us by taking over the conversation. At some level, they may believe that they’ve done us a favor.

But what they’ve actually done, whether by accident or on purpose, is shut us down.

For many of us, this pattern of interruption has been happening for a very long time … and doing very real damage.

When someone interrupts you

Recently, I asked readers of The Sensitive & Strong Connection, “How do you feel when you’re talking and someone interrupts you?” My inbox was immediately deluged with responses.

Here’s a short list of emotions y’all shared:

      • unimportant
      • frustrated
      • invisible
      • annoyed
      • insignificant
      • devalued
      • not smart enough
      • disrespected
      • boring
      • unappreciated
      • hurt
      • angry

And a sampling of your comments:

I feel hurt and defeated like my words aren’t important, translating into false beliefs that I’m not important.

Unheard, unimportant, and likely won’t be as apt to express myself later.

 I usually feel discouraged, both because I feel like they are not taking the time to listen to me (I don’t feel important to them) and because I often lose my train of thought once I’m interrupted.

I feel so frustrated when I get interrupted.  It takes me a bit to process my thoughts to respond to things and not everyone around me wants to wait for the process.  Very frustrating.

I’m frustrated! They are not listening or their thought is on their tongue, and they can’t hold it back!

I feel awful. I feel invisible, and like my thoughts are not important.

It makes me feel really annoyed and angry when I’m not allowed to finish a sentence. I usually have a cohesive and intelligent thought formed that I want to express, so it feels like my effort to communicate clearly isn’t valued.

I feel completely disregarded and belittled. Like all I am is a big ear to people and nothing else.

Now, I try to always remember to listen to what my employees have to say in business and in life … I remember how insignificant I was made to feel when I was talked over.

I feel dismissed, rejected and at times “stupid”.

I definitely feel disrespected when someone interrupts me… like I am not worthy of being heard.  Maybe even that I am a failure somehow due to the fact that I can’t formulate my thoughts quickly enough to fit into their time construct.

I feel almost violated.

It’s particularly frustrating when I’m the one asking for advice or I initiated a conversation asking for help or to be listened to … and I get interrupted and “told” how I feel (or worse, how I should feel) before I even get out my issue.

I feel like “Why me? What do I do?”

What you need to know

We live in a culture where whoever talks the loudest and the fastest — without pausing to breathe — gets heard.

Which can make an HSP feel like her voice isn’t needed.

But here’s what you need to know:

Your voice is needed.

Now more than ever.

 

Your Turn:  

  1. How do you feel when you’re talking and someone interrupts you?
  2. Which emotion(s) and/or comment(s) resonate most with you?

 

(Watch for Part 2, where you’ll hear “the rest of the story” … and we’ll discuss what to do and what not to do when someone interrupts you!)

Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print

Categorized: Connecting with Others

About Cheri Gregory

I'm a collaborator at heart. With Kathi Lipp, I'm the co-author of You Don't Have to Try So Hard and Overwhelmed. With Amy Carroll, I'm the co-host of Grit 'n' Grace: The Podcast and co-author of Exhale. With Denise J. Hughes, I'm the co-author of Sensitive & Strong. I've been married to my college sweetheart, Daniel, for almost 32 years and have two adult children: Annemarie and Jonathon.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Cassandra says

    October 13, 2020 at 8:33 am

    Just as prevalent as being interrupted, is also, not getting the chance to actually give feedback in meaningful conversations because someone else is dominating and taking the conversation at neck-break pace away from the original spirit inspired thoughts.

    I do resonate with many of these conversation interruption responses.

    Reply

Hi, I’m Cheri Gregory. I’m delighted you’re here!

Cheri Gregory
I believe that every Highly Sensitive Christian woman can grow in confidence, candor, and contentment.

Latest

  • A Gift For Your HSP Heart
  • What to Do When People Interrupt You — Part 1
  • What to Do When You Feel Insecure
  • Reflections on Regret and Grace
  • How to Protect Your HSP Heart Right Now

Sensitive & Strong: a Guide for Highly Sensitive Persons and Those Who Love Them

Sensitive & Strong: a Guide for Highly Sensitive Persons and Those Who Love Them
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Sensitive & Strong: a Guide for Highly Sensitive Persons and Those Who Love Them
Buy now!

Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity

Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity
Buy now!

Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not. Love Who You Are. Live Your One Life Well.

Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not. Love Who You Are. Live Your One Life Well.
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Audible.com
Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not. Love Who You Are. Live Your One Life Well.
Buy now!

You Don’t Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life

You Don’t Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life
Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Amazon Kindle
Buy from Audible.com
You Don’t Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life
Buy now!

How to Quickly Calm Your Overwhelmed Heart

How to Quickly Calm Your Overwhelmed Heart

You may also enjoy...

  • What a Bout of Self-Sabotage Can Teach You About YourselfWhat a Bout of Self-Sabotage Can Teach You About Yourself
  • Notes to Teenage Me (Part 2)Notes to Teenage Me (Part 2)
  • How to Prevent Unexpected HSP Travel ProblemsHow to Prevent Unexpected HSP Travel Problems
  • 5 Ways to Make Failure Your Friend5 Ways to Make Failure Your Friend
  • Why “Good Enough” Has Been a Hard Lesson to LearnWhy “Good Enough” Has Been a Hard Lesson to Learn
  • How to Support the Highly Sensitive Person in Your LifeHow to Support the Highly Sensitive Person in Your Life

Copyright © 2021 Cheri Gregory · All Rights Reserved · Disclosure · Privacy Policy

Close

Support the Sensitive and Strong Community!

You can support this community directly through PayPal: