“You’re just being a spoil-sport!” one girl accuses me.

I grab more toilet paper so I can blow my nose and dab my eyes.

“You just want to be the teacher’s pet!” another girl insists.

The two share a mutual Our work here is done! glance, turn their backs on me, and leave me crying—now even harder—in the junior high girls’ bathroom.

An hour ago, I was blind-sided in math class when our teacher introduced a new kid by saying, “Class, I’d like you to meet the student who is going to beat Cheri next quarter.”

I’d excused myself and barely made it to the bathroom before bursting into tears. As I hid in the corner stall, I kept asking myself:

How does he know that a boy he’s just met will beat me? I’ve worked so hard to stay top of the class all year. How does he know?

When my friends finally found me, I had hoped for understanding, perhaps comfort.

But now, with “spoil-sport” and “teacher’s pet” replaying in my mind, I’m not sure which hurts worse:

My teacher’s devastating words … or my friends’.

 

What We Know Now Makes an Enormous Difference

I’m sure you could tell me your own stories of feeling blindsided and confused, misunderstood and judged. Of how you’ve heard or told yourself messages such as:

• “You should just be able to control your sensitivity.”
• “You should just be able to switch off your sensitivity.”

But science has revealed these “shoulds” to be myths.

Research makes it clear that some people have a strong genetic predisposition to anxiety. Picture a bell-shaped curve: People on the far right are genetically predisposed to be risk takers. 

Their brains are not very sensitive to adrenaline and other stress modulators. They have a lot of a substance called GABA—gamma-aminobutyric acid. They require vast amounts of risk just to keep them from feeling bored. They are drawn to skydiving, bungee jumping, tightrope walking, alligator wrestling, and karaoke bars.

People in the middle of the curve are set up for an average amount of anxiety, while people on the far left are genetically predisposed to be risk avoiders.

Their brains are extremely sensitive to adrenaline, and they have low levels of GABA. They wrestle more with worry. They may feel more anxiety about going to a party where they will have to make small talk than persons on the right side of the curve feel when they are going to jump out of an airplane.

Just because you’re on the right side of this bell curve does not necessarily mean you have more faith! It could just mean that you have more GABA. And just because you’re on the left side doesn’t mean you’re spiritually inferior to the thrill seeker. This is one of the reasons Jesus said, “Don’t judge.” Not even yourself.

John Ortberg, When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box, pg. 144-145

Translating from a Myth to the Truth

While science is making it clear that these are myths—

• “You should just be able to control your sensitivity.”
• “You should just be able to switch off your sensitivity.”

—Scripture has always uncovered the truth for us. (Remember Question #3 of the Myth Debunker?)

The truth about who we are, yes. But more importantly, the truth about who God is and how He sees us.

So let’s take a few minutes together to immerse in the Word.

If you’re a pen-and-paper kinda gal, here’s a printable guide for you to download. (*If you’re a listening learner, scroll down to the bottom for something special, just for you!)

1 — First Reading

Read John 11:1-6 & 17-45, asking

• What one word or phrase especially touches my heart?

After reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the question:

• What one word or phrase especially touches my heart?

2 — Second Reading

Now, re-read John 11:1-6 & 17-45, this time asking

• What emotions do I feel?
• What personal struggle or longing in my life today is God speaking into?

After your second reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the questions

• What emotions do I feel?
• What personal struggle or longing in my life today is God speaking into?

3 — Third Reading

Finally, read John 11:1-6 & 17-45 once again, this time asking

• What do I sense God might be saying to me?      
• What is my personal invitation from the Lord?

 After your third reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the questions

• What do I sense God might be saying to me?      
• What is my personal invitation from the Lord?

Finally, consider

• And what is my response to Him?

Finding the Strength of Your Tender Heart

This is the point in a blog post where you might expect me to offer “the right answers.”

Which word or phrase should have touched your heart. The emotion you should have felt. What you should have heard God saying to you.

But, of course, I can’t.

Although we’re both HSPs, we are different people. So God speaks to us differently. Uniquely. One-of-a-kindly.

What I can assure you is this: immersing in God’s Word is always the best strategy for translating from a myth to the truth.

The truth you most desire: the truth about who you are in Him.

And the truth you most need: the truth about who He is to you.

He is your Creator, by whom you were “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

Your Comforter, in whom you can take refuge. (Psalm 18:2)

And the ever-present Strength of your tender heart. (Psalm 28:7-8)

 

Q4U:

As you debunk myths about your sensitivity, what truths is God revealing to you?  (Let’s make a new list!)

 

(* If you’re a listening learner, I’ve created an audio file that leads you through all three readings of John 11:1-6 & 17-45, complete with reflection questions and pauses for pray-cessing. Drop me an email at cheri @ cherigregory . com — I’d love to send it to you!)