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How to Uncover the Truth About Your Sensitivity

by Cheri Gregory

Are you ready to lose that overwhelming sense that "something must be wrong with me" and learn, instead, to embrace this HSP gift God’s given you? The Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe will re-open to new members soon, and we’d love to have you join us. Click here to get on the Waiting List.

Are you ready to lose that overwhelming sense that "something must be wrong with me" and learn, instead, to embrace this HSP gift God’s given you? The Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe will re-open to new members soon, and we’d love to have you join us. Click here to get on the Waiting List.

“You’re just being a spoil-sport!” one girl accuses me.

I grab more toilet paper so I can blow my nose and dab my eyes.

“You just want to be the teacher’s pet!” another girl insists.

The two share a mutual Our work here is done! glance, turn their backs on me, and leave me crying—now even harder—in the junior high girls’ bathroom.

An hour ago, I was blind-sided in math class when our teacher introduced a new kid by saying, “Class, I’d like you to meet the student who is going to beat Cheri next quarter.”

I’d excused myself and barely made it to the bathroom before bursting into tears. As I hid in the corner stall, I kept asking myself:

How does he know that a boy he’s just met will beat me? I’ve worked so hard to stay top of the class all year. How does he know?

When my friends finally found me, I had hoped for understanding, perhaps comfort.

But now, with “spoil-sport” and “teacher’s pet” replaying in my mind, I’m not sure which hurts worse:

My teacher’s devastating words … or my friends’.

How to Uncover the Truth About Your Sensitivity 

What We Know Now Makes an Enormous Difference

I’m sure you could tell me your own stories of feeling blindsided and confused, misunderstood and judged. Of how you’ve heard or told yourself messages such as:

  • “You should just be able to control your sensitivity.”
  • “You should just be able to switch off your sensitivity.”

But science has revealed these “shoulds” to be myths.

Research makes it clear that some people have a strong genetic predisposition to anxiety. Picture a bell-shaped curve: People on the far right are genetically predisposed to be risk takers. Risk Takers

Their brains are not very sensitive to adrenaline and other stress modulators. They have a lot of a substance called GABA—gamma-aminobutyric acid. They require vast amounts of risk just to keep them from feeling bored. They are drawn to skydiving, bungee jumping, tightrope walking, alligator wrestling, and karaoke bars.

People in the middle of the curve are set up for an average amount of anxiety, while people on the far left are genetically predisposed to be risk avoiders.Risk Avoiders

Their brains are extremely sensitive to adrenaline, and they have low levels of GABA. They wrestle more with worry. They may feel more anxiety about going to a party where they will have to make small talk than persons on the right side of the curve feel when they are going to jump out of an airplane.

Just because you’re on the right side of this bell curve does not necessarily mean you have more faith! It could just mean that you have more GABA. And just because you’re on the left side doesn’t mean you’re spiritually inferior to the thrill seeker. This is one of the reasons Jesus said, “Don’t judge.” Not even yourself.

John Ortberg, When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box, pg. 144-145

Translating from a Myth to the Truth

While science is making it clear that these are myths—

  • “You should just be able to control your sensitivity.”
  • “You should just be able to switch off your sensitivity.”

—Scripture has always uncovered the truth for us. (Remember Question #3 of the Myth Debunker?)

The truth about who we are, yes. But more importantly, the truth about who God is and how He sees us.

So let’s take a few minutes together to immerse in the Word.

If you’re a pen-and-paper kinda gal, here’s a printable guide for you to download. (*If you’re a listening learner, scroll down to the bottom for something special, just for you!)

What's True John 11:1-6 and 17-45

1 — First Reading

Read John 11:1-6 & 17-45, asking

  • What one word or phrase especially touches my heart?

After reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the question:

  • What one word or phrase especially touches my heart?

2 — Second Reading

Now, re-read John 11:1-6 & 17-45, this time asking

  • What emotions do I feel?
  • What personal struggle or longing in my life today is God speaking into?

After your second reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the questions

  • What emotions do I feel?
  • What personal struggle or longing in my life today is God speaking into?

3 — Third Reading

Finally, read John 11:1-6 & 17-45 once again, this time asking

  • What do I sense God might be saying to me?      
  • What is my personal invitation from the Lord?

 After your third reading, continue to quietly pray-cess the questions

  • What do I sense God might be saying to me?      
  • What is my personal invitation from the Lord?

Finally, consider

  • And what is my response to Him?

Finding the Strength of Your Tender Heart

This is the point in a blog post where you might expect me to offer “the right answers.”

Which word or phrase should have touched your heart. The emotion you should have felt. What you should have heard God saying to you.

But, of course, I can’t.

Although we’re both HSPs, we are different people. So God speaks to us differently. Uniquely. One-of-a-kindly.

What I can assure you is this: immersing in God’s Word is always the best strategy for translating from a myth to the truth.

The truth you most desire: the truth about who you are in Him.

And the truth you most need: the truth about who He is to you.

He is your Creator, by whom you were “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

Your Comforter, in whom you can take refuge. (Psalm 18:2)

And the ever-present Strength of your tender heart. (Psalm 28:7-8)

 

Q4U:

As you debunk myths about your sensitivity, what truths is God revealing to you?  (Let’s make a new list!)

 

(* If you’re a listening learner, I’ve created an audio file that leads you through all three readings of John 11:1-6 & 17-45, complete with reflection questions and pauses for pray-cessing. Drop me an email at cheri @ cherigregory . com — I’d love to send it to you!)

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Categorized: Cherished by God

About Cheri Gregory

I'm a collaborator at heart. With Kathi Lipp, I'm the co-author of You Don't Have to Try So Hard and Overwhelmed. With Amy Carroll, I'm the co-host of Grit 'n' Grace: The Podcast and co-author of Exhale. With Denise J. Hughes, I'm the co-author of Sensitive & Strong. I've been married to my college sweetheart, Daniel, for almost 32 years and have two adult children: Annemarie and Jonathon.

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Comments

  1. April says

    April 13, 2017 at 10:32 am

    So what about those highly sensitive people who love risks? Not social risks, mind you. But I thoroughly LOVE sky-diving and “outdoor” risks, but often skip church because I can’t stand small-talk and the large group setting…

    Reply
    • Amber says

      December 27, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      If you read any of Dr. Elaine Aron’s work, she breaks HSPs down further into HSS (high sensation seeking) and non-HSS. It sounds like you might be an HSS HSP, which does give us some different conflicts when it comes to establishing boundaries and knowing when to step back and practice self care 🙂

      Reply
  2. Linda McCamey says

    April 10, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    This study leaves me with: “I believe!” Jesus questions Martha: . . .”Do you believe this ?” (Vs. 26) again, (vs.40)”if you would believe”, again, (vs.42)”that they may believe”.
    Three times Jesus centers his response on believing who he is and what comes with that. My response is: “I BELIEVE!”
    Which is comforting right now. Thank you Lord Jesus, that you are my risen Savior and someday I will rise to be with you, if I die before your return.

    Reply
  3. Nicole says

    April 10, 2017 at 12:37 pm

    Thank you, Cheri. This is very helpful. I am blessed.

    I especially thank God for you for reaching/teaching my daughter, too. You are helping her in ways I didn’t know how.

    You remain in our prayers!

    Reply
  4. Cindy says

    April 10, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    I’ve always loved this story. In my opinion, Mary is one of the finest Biblical examples of a female HSP, and the way Jesus interacts with her, in the few stories we have of the two of them, never fails to both touch and encourage me. I love that Jesus validates both Mary and Martha by responding to them both in the vastly different ways that *they* need to be responded to.

    Reply

Hi, I’m Cheri Gregory. I’m delighted you’re here!

Cheri Gregory
I believe that every Highly Sensitive Christian woman can grow in confidence, candor, and contentment.

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