How to Make a Self Care Plan That Works for You

I’ve never actually said, “Self-care is for sissies.”

But for years, my attitude projected this message loud and clear. My outward actions exhibited bravado — as if I was “above” self-care. I proudly said things like, “I don’t have time to be sick!” and “I’ll rest when I’m dead!”

However, all my bravado was merely a mask, covering how I really felt about myself.

You see, during the decades before I learned about being a Highly Sensitive Person, I thought there was something very wrong with me. Back then, I believed I was so defective that I didn’t deserve self-care.

Now I know that self-care is key to being who God created me to be.

What is “Self Care”?

I used to think that self-care was synonymous with bubble bath or spa day (both of which I’ve tried … neither of which I liked).

But self-care encompasses so much more than “pampering”:

Self-care isn’t always chocolate cake and trips to the spa. Sometimes, it’s meal planning, going to bed early or letting go of a bad friend. It’s forgiving yourself for not meeting your own impossible standards, and understanding that you are worthy. Always. Self-care isn’t just luxuries, but a means for survival. (@WholeSelfHealth via Facebook)

I used to think self-care was merely self-indulgence in a fancy disguise.

Now I recognize self-care as a form of utmost self-respect.

And I know that a solid self-care plan looks different for each one of us.

Why You Need Your Own Self Care Plan

I posed this question to the members of The Sensitive and Strong Community Cafe:

What kind of self-care DOES and does NOT work for you?

Here, in no particular order, are their ideas of what does work.

Think of this as a build-your-own self care plan menu from which you can pick and choose:

50 Ideas for Your Self Care Plan

1. making my time alone in the Bible reading and prayer a priority first thing in morning … and then prayer and memorizing a verse as I head to sleep.
2. getting adequate sleep
3. forgiving myself for making mistakes
4. anything that gets me out of my head
5. journaling or writing
6. reading, especially something uplifting
7. a favorite magazine
8. listening to audio books
9. alone time in a favorite coffee shop listening to an encouraging podcast
10. a special playlist of my favorite music
11. listening to Christian music and choosing to believe the songs that say how much God loves me.
12. painting or drawing or coloring
13. spending time scrapbooking or working on another craft
14. antiquing
15. making time for a few minutes of a hobby I enjoy each day
16. pets
17. grandkids
18. watching a good show
19. snuggling with someone special
20. making time for friends (which usually takes some effort)
21. talking with my best friend
22. spending time with very close friends
23. fellowship with question asking/listening friends
24. breath control
25. keeping my blood sugar even
26. “nothing” time
27. cooking good healthy food
28. eating lots of fruits and veggies
29. baking
30. sipping my favorite coffee / tea
31. exercising
32. taking a walk, especially in a quiet neighborhood
33. fresh air
34. sunshine
35. time in nature
36. trees, hills, mountains
37. relaxing on the couch or a hammock
38. bathing with Epsom salts and lavender essential oils
39. a massage
40. a face mask
41. quiet
42. solitude
43. decompressing every day after work for at least 30 minutes as soon as I get home
44. the beach
45. limiting screen time
46. water: drinking it, being near it, taking a hot bath or shower
47. getting a haircut
48. having my house cleaned so I am less critical of myself (“how could you have missed that spot?”)
49. wearing soft, comfortable clothing
50. reading my Bible everyday so I am reminded and grounded in the strength of a God who protects me.

Self-Care vs. Self-Sabotage

Most answers to “What does NOT work” boiled down to one core truth:

Too much of a good thing turns self-care into self-sabotage.

One small scoop of ice cream in a bowl can be self-care. But reaching for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a spoon is a recipe for regret.

A little “retail therapy” can be a real reward: a pack of gum, a favorite pen, those boots that are finally on sale. But a splurge that means a trip back to the store for returns? Ugh.

5 minutes on social media can be real connection with people you care about. But you’ve gotta stop long you find yourself scrolling aimlessly, hating your life more and more with each passing perfect picture.

How to Make Your Own Self Care Plan

Here’s how I suggest you use the “50 Ideas for Self-Care” List:

First, click here to download it as a Word doc.

Then, print the Word doc and pray-cess it with two pens: a Sharpie and a highlighter. Use the Sharpie to cross out any ideas that absolutely do not resonate with you. Use the highlighter to spotlight those that really do.

Next, use the “Save As” command to save a new version of the Word doc; name it My Self Care Plan. Revise it so the Sharpied items are deleted and the highlighted items are bolded. Move all the bolded items to the beginning of the list.

Finally, print several copies of your self care plan. Post them on your mirrors and in your frig; slip a copy in your Bible and your purse. Share with trusted friends and family who understand this truth: