Struggle with Over-Thinking? Here’s One Easy Way to Focus

Two different HSP sisters asked two different questions on the same day:

Question 1: “How do you stay focused amidst the distractions, pushbacks, and craziness of life?”

Question 2: “How do you decide where to start? I have so much to do and so many different directions I could go, but I can’t do it all at the same time, so I’m getting nothing done because I don’t know where to start!”

And the more I pray-cessed how to respond to these seemingly different questions, the more clear it became that my answer to both questions was the same.

Here’s why.

Just before my 35th birthday, I injured my back.

When I walked into the gym for my workout that day, my life was full: I was an energetic junior high English teacher, active mom to two elementary-aged children, involved pastor’s wife, home-based business owner, and grad school student.

When I walked out, a moving van had backed up to my life, emptied everything inside, and driven it all away, leaving just one thing behind:

unrelenting pain

It took six months before I was correctly diagnosed with a fractured vertebrae plus herniated discs above and below … six interminable months before I entered physical therapy and began my healing journey.

During those agonizing months, I downed muscle relaxants and pain relievers while lying on the couch, alternating between heat pad and ice packs on my back.

Everything was falling apart around me, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I felt out of control … totally trapped … and all I could think was:

I want my life back!

How I Got My Life Back

But how?

How could I possibly focus on “my life” when my back pain was all-consuming?

And even if I could figure out how to focus for a little bit, where would I even start?

One day, in desperation, I decided to set a timer for 5 minutes. During that 5 minutes, I was going to do something to make a difference in the house.

I had no strategy, no plan, no checklist.

I wandered around the house, looking for the easiest place to start chipping away at the mess.

After 5 minutes, I laid back down on the coach to heat and ice my back.

55 minutes later, I set the timer again, went back to the same place, and spent 5 more minutes.

I did this all day: 5 minutes of chipping away followed by 55 minutes of rest.

And at the end of that day …

<cue dramatic music>

… I saw absolutely no difference whatsoever.

A Tiny Glimmer of Hope

But I did feel this tiny glimmer of hope … like I’d gotten a tiny little bit of a grip on my life again.

So the next day, I went back to the exact same spot in the house for 5 more minutes every hour. 

Not because that’s what any book would have told me to do or because that’s how some expert would have guided me.

But because that’s where I had gained traction. That’s where I had started getting some momentum going. Where I had some experience under my belt that told me, “I can do this.”

So going back to that felt doable.

• Was I making a huge difference? Nope!
• Did it feel fabulous? Nope!
• Was it fun? Nope!

Day after day after day, putting in 5 minutes every hour, I just kept going through the motions.

And by the end of the week, this one area that had been a dumpster fire was now a controlled burn.

I could see a real difference.

“Focus for 5“

I call this little strategy “Focus for 5.”

Ever since it saved my sanity two decades ago, it’s been my go-to method for putting on blinders when everything around me is going haywire.

And for deciding “Where do I even start?!?” when I’m overwhelmed and desperately wish someone would hand me The Perfect Plan (with check boxes, on a clipboard, plus a freshly-sharpened pencil, thank you very much!)

“Focus for 5” comes in many flavors. Here are four of my favorites:

Just 5 minutes 

When I tell myself, “You can do this for just 5 minutes” I’m not being dismissive. Instead, I’m assuring myself, “I promise I won’t push you to do more than 5 minutes.”

Give it 5 minutes

When I tell myself, “Go ahead and give it 5 minutes” I’m encouraging myself to invest instead of holding back … to put in a bit of time and effort, and see what happens.

Take 5 minutes

When I tell myself “It’s okay to take 5 minutes” to breathe … or put my feet up … or slowly sip a glass of water … I’m practicing good stewardship of the HSP brain and body God’s entrusted to me. (This can be hard for those of us who are used to always giving, never ever <gasp> taking!)

Start with 5 minutes

When I tell myself “Let’s start with 5 minutes” I’m able to send procrastination packing. Procrastination insists that I need to block out #AllTheHours to get anything worthwhile done. “Let’s start with 5 minutes” is an irresistible invitation to make a wee bit of worthwhile progress in a tiny slice of time.

“Focus for 5” in Real Life

Here’s one practical example of what “Focus for 5” looked like for me last week:

I was writing an email to a collaborator when our power suddenly went out. We do have battery back-ups, but they only last for — you guessed it! — 5 minutes. So I took 5 minutes to wrap up my thoughts, hit “send”, and headed to bed.

By the time I got up the next morning, my collaborator had already responded. I knew what to do next, and the whole project kept moving forward smoothly.

When the power went out, I could have told myself, I guess I’ll have to finish the email tomorrow. Instead, I used those 5 minutes to “put the ball into play” and it it paid off.

Now let me be clear: This is a discretionary strategy, not an all-or-nothing directive!

Had the email been extra-sensitive … had I not been close to finished … had I needed to do more research … I would not have hit send.

The lesson, here, is not to always hit send.

The goal is to recognize how “Focus for 5” frees you to live out a vital truth — one that applies in most aspects of our lives:

Doing SOMEthing is better than doing NOthing.