How to be Flexible in a Crisis (Even When You Feel Fragile)

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know
that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance,
character; and character, hope. And hope does not
put us to shame, because God’s love has been
poured out into our hearts through the
Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

Twenty years ago I walked into the gym, ready for a good workout. An hour later, I walked out feeling as though someone had stabbed me in the back with a hot knife. I endured months of persistent pain before learning I’d fractured my T7 vertebra and herniated the discs above and below it.

During those months, I was so scared of the pain I was feeling and so terrified of making it worse that I shrank into self-protection mode.

I felt fragile, breakable, like one wrong would shatter me. So I froze, becoming tense, rigid, resistant to movement.

At first, this was an intentional choice; soon, it became an unconscious habit.

Eventually, I saw a sports specialist and discovered the cause of my continuing pain. Muscle knots had formed all around the site of my original injury.

This meant the pain I was feeling was no longer from the fracture. Instead, I was feeling the sharp spasms of muscles that were on a valiant but misguided mission to hold me together.

My determination to stay still, lying on the couch and moving as little as possible, was all wrong.

Instead of self-protection, I needed to strengthen.

So my doctor sent me to physical therapy, where I was the worst possible patient during my first session. All I could think was After all this pain and all this time off work, she’d better fix me fast! But the only thing that happened quickly that day was my plummet from hope to despair when my PT told me how many months she expected my healing to take.

During our initial appointments, I could hardly move. But as I practiced a series of small, slow, steady stretches, my physical therapist assigned harder ones. Day by day, my range of motion increased and my pain level decreased.

Two decades after my back injury, I still use the exact same stretches to keep chronic pain at bay. When I don’t do them, the pain builds, I start to feel fragile, and I face the same choice all over again:

Will I stay rigid and unmoving? Or will I trust that stretching leads to strengthening?

My natural reaction to any form of pain is to freeze for fear that I’ll break.

But I’m learning—in all areas of life—that God did not make us fragile.

He created us flexible.

The sequence we find in Romans 5:3-5 reminds me of the stretching I went through during physical therapy:

“Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Honestly, this does not sound like fun. Yet I absolutely recognize the truth of this progression.

Is there an area of your life that feels frozen right now? A situation in which you feel so fragile, you’ve become rigid and unmoving? Where instead of self-protection, you need to strengthen?

God did not make you fragile.

He created you flexible, able to stretch and strengthen physically, spiritually, and relationally.

Physically. Notice what parts of your body need to be stretched more often. When you exercise, are you intentional about stretching before and after? When you’re doing deskwork, do you take regular stretch breaks? Could you use a new stretching tool, such as a foam roll or elastic bands? Dismiss any all-or-nothing thinking as it arises and remember: small, slow, and steady. As you see incremental progress, celebrate each small victory along the way.

Spiritually. Invite God to show you one area of your spiritual life that feels stuck. You may feel the pain in one area, but like a good physical therapist, He’s skilled at detecting where the real problem lies. Whatever the specific area of spiritual atrophy, trust Him to guide you in small, slow, and steady ways. As you continually feel stretched just beyond your comfort zone, remember: This is the goal! And it’s evidence of God’s transforming power at work within you.

Relationally. Identify one place in your relationships where you’re especially rigid. Pray for the courage to lean into the pain of breaking up old destructive habits and developing new healthy ones. As other people resist the changes you’re making, remember: You don’t need self-protection, you need to strengthen. Also, avoid any urge to attempt an overnight overhaul of your entire life. Focus on that one rigid place, keeping your stretches small, slow, and steady.

Careful stretching will not cause you to shatter. It will show you what you’re already capable of but didn’t yet know.

When you start small, slow, and steady, stretching won’t break you. It will help you to continue to strengthen, heal, and grow.

Think of an area of your life that feels frozen right now—a situation in which you’ve felt so fragile, you’ve become rigid and unmoving.

How can you start stretching in ways that are small … slow … and steady?