How to Help Your Inner Child Feel Safe and Secure

A Sensitive & Strong sister recently sent me a powerful story she’d written. Reading her words, I felt so seen. 

And I asked if I could share it with you, too.

If you’ve …

• shepherded a child who pushed against your boundaries
• loved someone who lived in fear or anxiety
• wrestled with your own intensity

… this is for you.

When I find myself needing to hold space for someone who’s struggling — whether it’s a loved one or a young part of my own tender heart — this is the mental image that will carry me through.

“Keeping My Wounded Inner Child Safe”
by Susan Peeler

I imagine my life as being in a car.

I am the driver, and Jesus is the navigator who is sitting beside me in the front seat of the car. He is the one directing me and telling me where to go. He tells me which direction to take, when to turn, when to stop for a rest and when to continue on the journey. He navigates me through stormy weather as well as on beautiful days full of sunshine. He is my GPS system of life.

In the back seat is my Inner Child.

She experienced trauma early in her life and so fear along with anxiety drive her. She is easily triggered and when she is triggered, she wants to drive the car and often pushes me out of the driver seat so she can take over control of the car.

However, my Inner Child is too young to be driving the car. She is only six. She doesn’t respond too well to what Jesus says because in this trance all she can think of is, “I need to feel safe! I can only feel safe if I am in control!”

So the first thing I do before I start my journey is to make sure my Inner Child is securely fastened in her car seat. I reassure her that I love her and that I will make sure she is safe. I tell her that if she is scared, all she has to do is look at the rearview mirror to see my eyes to be reassured of my presence.

I tell her that Jesus, my GPS system, is looking out for her as well. Together Jesus and I will keep her safe from whatever frightens her. We won’t leave her alone and will be with her constantly on this journey.

My Inner Child has lived in fear and anxiety so long that it takes much love and compassion to handle her. She is so used to driving that sitting in the backseat is stressful for her. But I keep reassuring her of my presence and my love.

It isn’t long before my Inner Child gets frightened and in her trance unbuckles the seat belt and lunges for the front seat, trying to push me out of the way. In that moment, she turns into a gorilla and all she can think about is getting away from the fear.

I can feel her anxiety and see the fear in her eyes as she struggles to control the car. I remind myself that my Inner Child is too young to be driving the car.

At this point Jesus encourages me to stop the car. So I regain control, stop the car and gently take my Inner Child in my arms so that I can once again reassure her that she is safe. I just sit and hold her until she calms down in my arms.

Once she is calm I tenderly place her back in the car seat and tell her, “This is where you will be safe. Trust me that I will always make sure you are safe.”

Because my Inner Child is so scarred emotionally from the trauma she experienced in her early years, it will take many reassurances from Jesus and me for her to feel safe.

But Jesus and I will continue to reassure her that she is safe until the day she finally feels safe, loved and secure. When that will be I do not know.

But even if it takes a lifetime, Jesus and I will always be there for her.