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  1. Amy Barrick says:

    I really liked this post. I have learned to give myself permission to feel whatever feeling. Sadness, anger, joy, etc. If I need to cry I do and I make no apologies for it. Thank you for a wonderful post.

  2. Yes I can find ways to pursue my dreams while being a widowed mom. <3 Sometimes it feels too hard or even a bit selfish. But if this is what God has called me to do and this is what he's gifted me to do, then I need to find ways to pursue it. Thanks for the permission list, Cheri. As always, I'm surprised how many of those fit me and touch my heart deeply. You are like a therapist in a blog some days.

  3. to echo other comments: Thank you! For me, this manifested last week in buying clothes. Seems like such a small matter, but with 4 kids and a husband in ministry we often are tight. I’ll always make room in the budget for someone else to have an item they need…and realized I had continually told myself “no”. So I went to the store. Not overboard, mind you (I had been able to get 6 items for $75! coupon and discount shopping) but still had to battle guilt for such an indulgence.

    Every few days for the last couple weeks I’ve been wearing a new item and have felt a surge of confidence each time. That its okay to take care of me a little. That its okay to spend a little on myself once in a while. As if I’m advocating for me a little more these days.

    Then yesterday’s message at my church was about the word “no”. In terms of Lent and denying our selfishness to see how we can focus on Christ more. Its really beautiful, but I felt the familiar twinges of guilt telling me to get back in line. To push harder, be more cruel to myself.

    Problem being I’ve already told myself ‘no’ for too long. To the point that now I’m having to make a lot of lifestyle adjustments to let my adrenal and thyroid glands recover from having been over-stressed for too long.

    Thank you for sharing the other side of the spectrum. Your message of “YES” resonated so deeply.

  4. Wonderful post! I am so glad I‘m not alone! That my spontanious tears are alright, that „I“ am alright. Even if others look at me in disbelief. Yes, I can accept myself – even if it is hard (and takes practice).

  5. I can relate to this on so many levels.

    I’ll go with: Yes, I can respond differently.

    I find myself stuck in patterns, patterns of feelings. I was home recently and someone tried to shame me. I could have easily accepted the shame because the person was someone of significance in my life so I MUST BE WRONG, RIGHT?

    I was involved in an “incident.” Instead of asking me for an explanation or giving me the benefit of the doubt, my significant one chastised me (under the guise of protecting someone else). I reminded myself I had done nothing wrong. It could have easily been cleared up if she had expected the best.

    I realized the issue did not lie with me but with the other person.

    Yes, I can respond differently, and I did. People can only guilt or shame me if I let them. Hurray for me! Great post!

  6. Thank you. Very encouraging.

  7. Monica Hast says:

    I love this column as it’s been me all of my life and I’m glad I realized it in my early 50’s. It helps me to better accept my sensitivity with others and at least put a finger on why I am the way I am! I hope this makes sense. I’m going back to college mid-career in order to get my Masters in Education and my teaching credential in early childhood special education. One of the reasons I’m doing this is because I LOVE helping and teaching others. It all just makes sense and makes me realize that this is what God has wanted for me all along! Things seem to be falling into place much easier because of these changes and understanding what makes me “tick” helps, as well. Thank you for this continued column of encouragement and nourishment. We need a lot more of this in our world today!

  8. Jennifer King says:

    This is a wonderful “yes” list! Thank you so much for hitting all the right spots.

  9. Nancy Russell says: