How to Say No to the Hardest Person to Say No To

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  1. This is a great metaphor! This is a way to help me say no – I’m really a dessert plate who keeps trying to grow up to be a platter! Never works!

  2. I am also an hsp. Sending love your way! Much burnout in the past. I have tried to learn the lessons of having monthly, immediate family meetings and designating my work. Do you want some ideas?

    I often google research how to problem solve a family member situation and send it their way…. (instead of) getting myself (personally involved) in helping them. If they don’t follow up on it, some or all of their support is not my problem!

    For instance, daughter in law who doesn’t know how to cook, will learn from my son. . . not me. She is also looking for a career internship… sent her to a googled phone number of a organization of retired business leaders that mentor and network with others. Gave her some web sites too.

    Is it possible that your mom would consider the local YMCA seniors group? Bingo? Knitting Clubs? Writing Clubs? Church etc? Is she at all tech. savy. The local library has free classes to teach seniors more about technology. How about buying her a used piano keyboard and music?

    I am convinced that soon after child rearing, a parent should look into their own life, interests, passions, and spiritually more closely. Some seniors could use a little life counseling, especially if they have been through a divorce or grief of some kind. Much TV watching and depending strictly on family for support and friendship is not good.

  3. Ever since I was in high school and came off a year of sleeping only 5 hours a night because of the dozens of commitments I was trying to keep, my dad would tell me that I was the type of person that excelled at focusing on only a few things and doing those really well. Every few years, I have to reset myself and remember that I have now committed to too many things again and need to slowly start to back out if I really want to be effective for God and those He has for me to reach. Now is one of those times, and this post was a great reinforcement of that need. Thank you!

  4. Carrie Rose says:

    Hi, Cheri. I was able to sit in on your workshop during MomCon and I haven’t been able to get these ideas and tools out of my mind. I am excited to be able to share with my MOPS group in a couple weeks about this topic. I am hoping that I do not miss an important step in what you all were able to share with us. You gave us an email, or is there a place that has the outline of the different personalities, as well as the demonstration of the different plates? Should I just refer to this short write up here. I think it is fantastic, and I feel the Moms will really resonate with this so much. Thank you for sharing with us when you did. I know that I went away from the whole weekend renewed and refreshed. Blessings to you!

  5. Unfortunately, that would mean never doing anything I want to do because of all the things I have to do as a wife, mom and employee. I’ve already paired down church to just one thing.

  6. Cheri- I think you seriously live inside of my head! This is very hard for me but you nailed it- I hide behind my busyness and it does stem from lack of trust.

  7. Terri Goehner says:

    Thanks Cheri for giving words to what I have been struggling with lately. I have recently suspected that my plate isn’t as large as I thought it was. My go to phrase has been “I’ll figure it out” and I keep adding more and more to my plate. time to evaluate the size of my plate!

  8. Wow. I am being convicted of how my busy-ness is a cover-up for laziness and now I am feeling like my plate may also be smaller than I would like to think.

    But if we have an overloaded plate, what steps do we take to remove things?

    I work 40 hours per week as a medical practice manager and help my husband to take care of his disabled dad and his farm. Somebody has to cook and clean and grocery shop and do laundry and pack lunches and get my stepson off to school and spend time with my (divorced and retired) mom. No wonder I do most of that list hap-hazardly and sometimes poorly. No wonder I don’t make time to do the class-work I have already paid for, but that sits on my desk, undone.