When You Just Want to be Chosen
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I received disappointing news this weekend: a door I thought God was opening slammed shut.
Which makes about a dozen since January. (Not that I’m counting, of course.)
As soon as I got the news, my mind reeled with questions
- What did I do wrong?
- What does this mean about me?
- Why does God tantalize me with possibilities but let them all fall through?
3 eMails to a Friend
I fired off an e-mail to a trusted friend, bemoaning everything I must be doing wrong and all the things I must not be doing right.
30 minutes later, I sent a second e-mail in which I recognized that “a whopping case of entitlement” had snuck up on me.
30 minutes after that, I sent a final e-mail, saying “I’ve been sensing that God wants me to learn to do the current task at hand well rather than keep rushing off to the next big thing. Perhaps fewer open doors mean more time to focus on the commitments I’ve already said ‘yes’ to. What a concept.”
Only an Hour
I know many women would not have needed an entire hour to come to this conclusion. They would have said, “God knows best!” and immediately moved on.
I, however, am still delighted that it took me only an hour to move from disappointment to surrender to hope!
What used to take days, perhaps even weeks, only took an hour this time. And most of that hour was spent moving in the right direction rather than spiraling down.
This is progress, at least for me.
My Craving to be Chosen
Later, I pondered the intensity of my initial reaction. Why had I been I overwhelmed by such powerful disappointment? Why had feelings like grief and despair and hopelessness loomed so large?
Thinking with my logical adult brain, I know that I don’t want to be involved with an event that does not want me. I always pray for “clearly open and clear shut doors” for all sides. The last thing any of us want is a mismatch!
But my disappointment came from the little girl in my heart.
The sixth grade girl who spent the whole year listening to her so-called girlfriends planning their birthday parties and gushing about how much fun they were…but who never received an invitation.
The first grade girl who was always chosen last at recess…if she was chosen at all.
The little girl in my heart cries “Pick me! Pick me!” to anyone with a pulse.
She doesn’t care if we’re a good fit. She just craves being chosen.
Chosen by God
John 15:16 reminds me (and the little girl in my heart) “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit–fruit that will last–and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”
Less than ten minutes after hearing my disappointing news, I received an e-mail from a blog reader, listing specific ways my writing has blessed her.
Then I recalled a letter I’d recently gotten from the mother of a student, thanking me for ministering to her son this school year.
By the time the weekend was over, I’d received a dozen “little” affirmations of how God is working through me.
Already Chosen
“You did not choose me, I chose you…” God says.
No closed door — or dozen closed doors, for that matter! — will change the fact that you and I are chosen.
And when we are chosen by the only One who matters, we don’t need to be chosen by people. (Click to Tweet this.)
Sure, it’s nice when it happens. But it’s not necessary.
Not when we know without a doubt:
I am already chosen!
Try This Today:
Make John 15:16 an anchor verse that that will hold you securely to Jesus when disappointment hits, especially disappointment at not being chosen. You might memorize it or write it on a card to carry with you. Reach for it — physically and/or mentally — when disappointment hits and reassure the little girl in your heart, I am already chosen!
Your Turn!
- What’s an early memory you have of not being chosen?
- How do you handle disappointments?
- Anything else on your heart!
Cheri,
Please know that your writing speaks eloquently to my heart and makes me feel as though someone “gets” me and understands the random tracks my brain takes sometimes. I was never the athletic type, so that was always the arena in which I felt the sting of rejection the most deeply, as a child and teen. As an adult, I have caught myself behaving in ways to please others and draw their approval–ways that don’t always match up with who I truly am. It is a daily battle to turn that need for approval over to God and accept the fact that He has chosen me, cares for me, and sacrificed everything for me. Thank you for reminding me how precious I am to him.
Choose me! Validate me! It is the cry of my heart all too often. Your post was the sweet reminder that I have been chosen by God, the Creator of all. What a great anchor verse to hang my disappointments on,
Such a lovely post! We sound a lot a like 🙂 thank you for being transparent and real!
Beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing… love your anchor verse. Many blessings to you!
Thanks for this! Exactly what I needed to hear today. “I’ve been sensing that God wants me to learn to do the current task at hand well rather than keep rushing off to the next big thing. Perhaps fewer open doors mean more time to focus on the commitments I’ve already said ‘yes’ to. What a concept.”
I tend to take on too much and do a lot of things poorly. Trying to work on my focus and follow thru, so I’m not running around crazed all the time. Blessings to you!
Cheri, your blog posts are a huge blessing to me!
Love and Prayers,
Beth
I relate so well to what you wrote!
The young “Me” sounds a lot like you- chosen last, overlooked, picked on.
The older “Me” continues to endure not being chosen. Quite often this results in inner turmoil and, often, tears. Recently at school there was a special committee that was formed to oversee a program at school. I was the only teacher in my subject area who was NOT selected. I allowed this fact to fester inside me, gnawing at me… What had I NOT done that I should have? Were the others somehow “better” than me at something?
I completely forgot to stop and think that maybe not being chosen for the committee was actually a blessing. After all, I was already busy, both at school and at home. Maybe God had not allowed me to be selected, so that I could concentrate on other plans that he had for me. Whatever the reason, I have come to realize that I need to focus more on what GOD has selected for me to do: What is his good and perfect will for me?
It sounded like you were writing about my early school life as you wrote of yours. I can also remember how when a new student would move to the area, the teacher would pick a buddy for the new student to show them around and help them make friends etc. I always wanted to be chosen to be a buddy to one of the new students but the teacher always picked someone else.
Thank you for this post. I saw some insights into my own thoughts and actions from what you wrote and the scripture verse you shared really says it all.
“I, however, am still delighted that it took me only an hour to move from disappointment to surrender to hope!” That is so me!! I’m such a slow learner (or stubborn learner, perhaps?). Thanks for the post. I just dealt with this issue the other day.