Accusing Perfetionism as the Bully It Is

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  2. What a powerful message Cheri!
    I thank you soooooo much for this. I struggle with perfection and trying to make things perfect before I do my assignments or what ever it is I am doing. If something didn’t go as planned that day i’m looking for ways to replan the day and do a do over so that way everything will go perfect! Perfection is an evil sickness and I need to brake it.

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  6. Kristina — One day at a time is the only way, I think! How old are your girls? The more open we can be about our struggles, the more options they will have to recognize the “bully” when he shows up in his many disguises.

    It turns out that my mom has always been far more pleased with me than I knew…all her “criticisms” about me and my choices were because she loved me so much, she couldn’t bear for me to have a life that was anything other than perfect. Her negative comments were not about me but about how much she hated the imperfection of the world and its impact on her precious daughter. Such a different perspective when I think of it that way…that she loved/loves me SO much she wanted the best of the best for me…

    In the last few years, I’ve realized that we’re not on opposite sides…we’re on the same side, battling the same enemy.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Very powerful monologue, Cheri. Was very moved by it. Thank you for “exposing” perfectionism, and for illuminating the dire effects it has on us. All this time, I’ve been thinking “if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all.” Praise God, that he has set us free indeed. I’m free to be me!

    1. Connie —

      I decided to do this monologue because everyone close to me was so shocked when I started sharing my revelations about the impact of Perfectionism. They assumed I liked working myself to death. They assumed I enjoyed stressing out. They saw me as “high maintenance”…not hurting. “Driven”…not destructive.

      Nobody saw me as a “good girl” being constantly beaten down while trying to measure up. I wondered if my own children, husband, and closest friends didn’t understand (and I have an amazingly loyal people in my life who love me in spite of all my “high maintenance-ness”!) how many women out there are struggling with this all alone?

    2. And thank you for letting me know you found value in my monologue. God’s working on my thirst for external validation. I’ve waited until I was ready to put it out there and hear nothing (or even criticism) back. But it is a blessing to know that you were blessed. 🙂