Surprise! Why One Size Does NOT Fit All HSPs

“Be still, and know that I am God…”
Psalm 46:10a (NIV) 

Standing in front of the pastry display, I feel confident. When the barista asks, “Would you like something to eat with your drink?” I will respond politely, yet firmly:

“Why yes, thank you. I’d like a Michigan Cherry Oat Bar, warmed up please. And if possible, I’d just love the one on the bottom left corner. In the front.”

I am even ready to help with …

• “No, not that one” 
• “Not quite…almost” 
• “Yes, that’s the one!”

… in an encouraging yet no-nonsense tone of voice.

But when my big moment arrives, I feel convicted to simply name the pastry. With none of my preplanned directions.

I do as I feel led. But I start to worry.

What if I’m given the wrong Michigan Cherry Oat Bar?

Sure enough, the barista bags the bar on the upper left corner of the stack. In the back. And she does not warm it.

How can I possibly enjoy eating the wrong Michigan Cherry Oat Bar? This one has hardly any crumble topping, and that’s my favorite part!

I take a bite. Sure enough, the flavor and texture balance is all off.

Too much fruit, not enough oats, the temperature is…

Suddenly, I’m struck with conviction:

I don’t know how to accept what I’ve been given.

I try another nibble, willing myself not to think of the perfect bar on the bottom left corner. In the front.

Instead, I focus on the bar I’ve been given.

The cherry filling is really tart! I’ve never noticed it before.

That day in Starbucks was the start of a new journey God took me on for several years: learning to accept what I’ve been given.

But right about the time God asked me to stop being so persnickety, He led a friend to do the exact opposite. She started expressing her preferences instead of “going with the flow”. Speaking up in conversations rather than always being the designated listener. Sending restaurant food back when it didn’t meet her expectations.

How odd, I thought. Why would God lead us different ways. Aren’t we supposed to be heading in the same direction?

Ultimately, yes, of course.

But in the short term, I’m realizing, individual spiritual growth is different for each of us. It can even look completely opposite.

Kathi and I didn’t really recognize this while writing You Don’t Have to Try So Hard. It took us two months with a group of one hundred readers to see that each Braver Living choice is as unique as the woman rebelling against the “bullies” of Try-Harder Living.

• For one, Braver Living means telling a friend that her feelings were hurt in a recent misunderstanding. For another, it means having lunch with a friend who has hurt her without ever bringing up the topic.
  
• For one, Braver Living means flying across the country to help a daughter move. For another, it means telling an adult child that (s)he needs to move out of the house by a specific deadline.
  
• For one, Braver Living means asking other people for help. For another, it means taking responsibility for getting her needs met on her own.

We’ve now heard hundreds of Braver Living stories that are practically polar opposites. Clearly, one size does not fit all when it comes to rebelling against Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, Performancism, and Procrastination.

These “P bullies” urge us to compare ourselves to each other and to copy each other. But comparison and copy-catting only mire us deeper in the pit of Try-Harder Living.

So how’s a tender-hearted Jesus gal to know what she’s supposed to do?

“Be still, and know that I am God…”
Psalm 46:10a (NIV) 

Be still.

No action plans. No SMART goals. No Top Ten Tips.

Be. Still.

I know — being still can feel like THE HARDEST thing you’ll ever “do.”

But it’s only in the stillness you will know that He is God …

…and hear what He’s inviting you to do.

Prayer

Father God,
I know you have a plan for me, a perfect plan. I have a plan too. They are not always the same. Help me to be quiet enough to hear your will. Give me the faith to choose your plan instead of mine. 

For Reflection and Action

1. How much intentional time to “be still” and “know” do you have in your day? How do you protect it?
2. What’s an area in which you compare yourself to or try to copy other women?
3. How can you show compassion for women who are on a different journey with God? 

More Braver Living Bible Verses

• “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.” John 15:16 (NLT)
  
• “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’.”  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
  
• “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27 (NLT)