“Inconvenience is Normal”: How Three Surprising Words are Changing My Life

 

I stare at my counselor, my eyes unblinking, my brain unable to form words.

Oblivious to my shock, she moves on to a new topic. Her mouth moves, but nothing she’s saying registers.

I want to ask, “What did you just say?”

Because she can’t possibly have said what she just said. Except that she did. I know she did, because it’s echoing inside my head.

Inconvenience is normal.

I stifle the urge to bombard her with questions, like “What do you mean?” and “Since when?” and “Says who?” and the biggee:

“Why did nobody tell me sooner?”

 

Inconvenience is Normal

On my way home, the cars in front of me move so slowly that I miss my green light. I heave an eye-rolling sigh.

Now I have to sit here for a whole signal cycle. What a waste of time. What an inconven-

Three words interrupt my gripe session:

Inconvenience is normal.

I adjust my seatbelt and fiddle with the temperature controls and stew.

She has no idea what my schedule looks like, how far behind I am, the pressure I’m under. Maybe “Inconvenience is normal” for her, but not for me!

When I walk in the front door, Daniel tells me we’re out of eggs, so he’s running to town. My brain leaps into high alert.

Out of eggs? How is that possible? I just went grocery shopping yesterday! Did I forget them? Were they not on the list? How could I have let this happen? I’ll figure it out later. Right now, I need to tell him that I’ll run right back out so he won’t be inconvenien-

Three words work their way into my panic:

Inconvenience is normal.

I grip my keys so hard that my knuckles turn white.

But if he goes to town then he’ll stay up late grading. If he stays up late grading, then he’ll be tired in the morning. And if he’s tired in the morning then he’ll complain about being out of eggs, all his grading, and his lack of sleep. Listening to him complain is such an inconven-

Three words of truth halt my control-freak catastrophizing:

Inconvenience is normal.

 

Avoiding Inconvenience at All Costs

It’s been several months since my counselor uttered those three surprising words. Initially, I resisted their power.

Surely my biggest life problems don’t stem from something as itty-bitty as inconvenience? It’s just everyday ordinary irritation. What could be more insignificant than that?

But day in and day out, I started noticing how quickly I

• spring into action to keep others from being inconvenienced.

• change the subject to avoid hearing others’ complaints about their inconveniences.

• become excruciatingly irritated over the smallest inconveniences which multiply exponentially into frustation, anger, and outright resentment.

An unexpected truth is becoming uncomfortably clear: I’ve spent my life avoiding inconvenience at all cost.

I’ve always interpreted Jesus words “In this world you will have troubles” (John 16:33) to mean BIG troubles.

But what if He also means the everyday ordinary inconveniences I’ve worked so hard to avoid?

Learning to Deal with Inconvenience

Changing how I think about inconvenience has been a slow process with a steep learning curve. But my inner dialogue is starting to sound more like:

•  If hitting a red light is normal, then there’s no reason to make a fuss over it. The only reasonable response is to simply wait until the light turns green.

• If he wants to run out to buy eggs, he’s a grown adult. He can make his own decisions. While I’d rather he let me pick some up later, it’s my personal preference, not a matter of right or wrong.

• If he complains, I can listen without absorbing his emotions or even agreeing with them rather than trying to make him stop.

Of course, inconveniences that bug the heck outta me may not register a  blip on your radar.

But I suspect you have your own versions of red lights, running out of eggs, and resisting others’ complaints.

If so, try putting into practice—in your own unique way—these three powerful words:

Inconvenience is normal.