Helping and Rescuing The Key Difference You Need to Understand

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  1. Kylie Hinze says:

    Really helpful article Cheri! Your example of the student wanting to be rescued was brilliant. That kind of manipulation can make a hard working teacher weary but I really appreciate the compassionate way you responded without actually rescuing! I was really blessed by this article. Thank you and God bless

  2. This post struck a chord with me. But I tend to rescue others, when helping them would be far better for them, and for me. And they don’t even have to ask me to do it, just appear needful.

    Rescuers who do it over and over tend to resent those who they rescue.

    Any thoughts on how to step back and not rescue? As a nurse and a wife and stepmom of 3 years, I really need it.

  3. I think the confusion with our children between help and rescue comes naturally. They are born helpless and are dependent on us for their survival but little by little that control/power must shift as they become capable of doing things and making decisions even if the decisions may be different from the ones we’d make. The act of making them is key to leaning and growth.

  4. Awesome, wise and profound post, Cheri!
    Thank you and may God bless you ♡

  5. What a great article! I have the same philosophy as a substitute teacher. I know I’m only there for one day, or so, at a time, but I still want to teach the kids how to help themselves rather than just depend on me to give them the answers. I’ve always done the same things with my kids too. I really like your idea of having them send you the picture before sending their gift certificate. Having 1 kid in college and 1 there in a couple of months, I know how important those places are. Thanks for being a teacher who helps her students.

  6. When my daughter was in HS, she cratered both academically and emotionally because she didn’t know how to ask or receive help and I didn’t know the difference between help and rescue. A wonderful counselor helped us learn how to navigate her owning her actions and consequences and private tutoring got her back on track. For the first four semesters she was at college, there was a least one course each semester where after attending the first class, she walked across to the academic center and got herself a tutor.