Free to Risk—Even If You Fall—Because of God’s Grace

I never saw the Jell-O.

I should have been focusing on my family; we were all gathered at Griswold’s to celebrate my eighth-grade graduation. But I only had eyes for the cute guy at the table next to ours.

That wavy blonde hair! That surfer tan!

After casting him several sly glances, I was sure he was staring at me. Or would be, if I could just catch his attention.

As I got up to get more salad, I wondered, How can I make an impression on him?

I knew I was dressed to impress. After all, I’d tried on and discarded a dozen outfits before settling on a velour blouse, flowing skirt, and—best of all—my very first pair of high-heeled shoes.

I exuded all the sophistication a clueless preteen could muster.

Look confident. Confidence always makes an impression.        

While heaping baby spinach on my plate, I squared my shoulders. As I poured salad dressing, I practiced casual hair flips.

Walking back to my table, I picked up my pace and was thrilled as my new high heels tapped the rhythmic beat of my bold stride. Just as I passed the table next to ours, I flashed my well-rehearsed, spontaneous smile.

Which is why I never saw the Jell-O.

Suddenly, my right foot shot out from under me. Bewildered, I staggered back, lurched forward, then pitched my tray as I became a windmill of flailing arms and legs before sprawling flat on my face.

Even with my skirt and slip flipped up over my head, I heard the entire restaurant laughing at the spectacle I’d made of myself.

Especially the cute guy at the table next to ours.

Oh, I’d made an impression on him, all right. 🤦🏼‍♀️

How Perfectionism Poses as Our Protector

Whenever the question, “What’s your most embarrassing moment?” arises, I pull out The Jell-O Incident.

As a Highly Sensitive Person—I experience my emotions with extra intensity. So forty-five years later, I can still feel all the overwhelming feels of that day:

• The dashed hopes.
• The public humiliation.
• The burning shame.

I never want to feel that way again!

Enter Perfectionism.

Perfectionism poses as our protector.

We tell ourselves, I never want to feel that way again!

And Perfectionism is quick to assure us: “As long as you don’t take any risks, I promise that you’ll never feel that way again.”

Is Self-Preservation Worth the Loss?

For decades after The Jell-O Incident, I avoided anything that would make me feel that way again. 

I did not feel free to risk. Risk-taking felt far too unsafe.

All activities during which I could slip and fall—literally or figuratively—were totally off limits.

No dancing, no charades, no karaoke, to name just a few.

Looking at this list, my logical reaction is: Oh, well, nothing important. No great losses.

But my eyes sting as I recognize all that I’ve missed for so long:

• Fun. 
• Play. 
• Celebration.

Such staggering losses, all in the name of self-protection.

What Perfectionism Fails to Disclose

When Perfectionism presents itself as our protector, it fails to disclose one vital truth:

Risks hurt less than regrets.

Not the kind of foolish life-threatening risks that wisdom and discretion guide us away from.

But the kinds of harmless risks that are just for fun. Risks that help us get over ourselves. Risks that connect us to other people, via laughter shared and memories made.

Risks like dancing (perhaps badly), playing charades (that nobody can guess), and singing karaoke (totally off-tune).

Perfectionism insists that we should regret every time we try and fail.

But when it comes to harmless risks? My greatest regret is failing to try.

• Playing it safe.
• Not risking enough.
• Being held hostage by Perfectionism.

We are Free to Risk

John 8:36 (ESV) offers these words of hope: 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

The astonishing truth is that you and me? We are free!

Free to risk … to take harmless risks. Free from unnecessary regrets.

So whenever that old Jello Incident sense of I never want to feel that way again! rises up again, I’m learning to reassure myself with words like these, which you’re free to us, too:

Oh, I’m going to “feel that way again”—over and over again. It’s part of life. 

I’m okay. I don’t have to take it too seriously. 

When I find myself on the floor, I can catch my breath. Get back up. Take a bow. Laugh it off. 

I’d rather take risks than live with regrets.

Because we are free indeed.